How to Deal With Premature Ejaculation in a Relationship

man and woman holding hands

Premature ejaculation, or PE, happens when you lose your erection too soon during sex. It’s a common issue that can be treated with behavioral techniques and medication.

Medications include lubricants and pills that slow the ejaculation reflex. Distraction techniques, like the squeeze method and the start-stop technique, can also help.

Talk to your partner.

Many men who suffer from PE are too ashamed to discuss it with their partners. They may think that it makes them a weaker man or that it will make their partner less satisfied. However, effective communication is essential in any relationship and bringing up the topic of PE with your partner is a great way to start. Having the discussion at a time when you can both be calm and in private is best. A good time to do this would be when you are both at home and relaxed or if you are eating a meal together.

When you bring up the subject, it is important to be honest and not use sarcasm or jokes. This will only cause the other person to become defensive or upset. It is also a good idea to explain what causes PE in your case and how it has been affecting your relationship.

Your doctor will be able to advise you on the most suitable treatment options for your PE. These will likely include behavioural techniques such as the squeeze technique or thought distraction (e.g. thinking about the names of players on your favourite sports team). Your doctor will probably recommend a course of medication to help delay ejaculation, such as a pain reliever or SSRIs (which are usually used to treat depression). There are also medications that can be used to help with PE, such as Dapoxetine, which is designed specifically to be taken “on demand” to treat PE.

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Do some pelvic floor exercises.

Whether PE is a one-time occurrence or a regular issue, it can be frustrating for both partners. It’s important to talk about it. However, it’s also important to find ways that can help you both feel more satisfied in the bedroom. If PE is a regular issue, consider seeing a sex or relationship therapist together.

Many people with PE have underlying psychological issues that contribute to it. It could be a symptom of depression, low self-esteem or a fear of intimacy. You might be able to help by offering support and encouragement. It’s also possible that your partner has some unresolved feelings, like resentment or guilt over past sexual experiences.

In addition to talking, you can try some pelvic floor exercises and techniques to delay PE. The most well-known are kegel exercises, which involve tightening and then relaxing the muscles in the pelvic area. Studies have shown that a regimen of these exercises can increase the time it takes to reach orgasm by a few minutes, which is helpful for PE sufferers.

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Another technique involves squeezing the head of the penis at the point where it joins the shaft. This can be done by either the man or his partner. The squeeze is supposed to mimic the act of stopping urine flow and can help fight PE.

Try distractions.

Premature ejaculation is often caused by psychological or physical issues and can lead to relationship problems. It can also stop you from getting as much pleasure out of sex as you could. In fact, one study found that over 79 percent of women reported low sex drive and sexual dissatisfaction when they were with a partner who suffered from PE.

There are several ways to help with PE, including behavioral techniques and medications. Psychologists can work with you to explore the issues that are contributing to your PE and teach you techniques to overcome it. They may also recommend that you try a medication called a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI). SSRIs are usually used to treat depression but can help to delay ejaculation in some people. One example of a SSRI is dapoxetine, which can be taken on demand and is available over the counter.

Another way to delay ejaculation is to use foreplay before sex. Foreplay is a great way to get your partner aroused and can be very effective in preventing PE. Some men are told to think about something non-erotic during sex to distract themselves and this can be very effective at delaying ejaculation. Others find that it helps to use a condom and this can make the penis less sensitive. Ultimately, it’s up to you and your partner to figure out what works best for you.

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See a doctor.

The good news is that PE is almost always treatable. Most people can learn to control it by using a combination of behavioral techniques, counseling and medication. Behavioral treatment usually begins with techniques that you and your partner can use to slow orgasm and ejaculation, such as the squeeze technique (squeezing the head of the penis) and the start-stop technique (stimulation is stopped when the feeling of orgasm starts to develop). You can also buy anaesthetic creams and sprays to reduce the sensation on the penis before having sex, which can be purchased at most pharmacies without prescription.

If self-help techniques don’t work, your doctor may refer you to a specialist like a sex therapist or psychologist who specialises in sexual problems. They will ask you questions about your sex life and relationship, and do a physical exam. If they think that you have a medical cause, they may refer you to a urologist or a specialist who treats conditions that affect the prostate gland (prostatitis).

In some cases, your doctor might prescribe an antidepressant called a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI), such as dapoxetine. These medicines are typically used to treat depression, but their side effects can include delaying ejaculation. You will need to take the medicine regularly for 1 or 2 weeks before you notice an effect.

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