Figuring out your sexuality doesn’t have to involve sticking yourself into a box. There are many other labels that can be used to describe a person’s orientation, such as pansexual or queer.
One of those labels is bi lesbian, which refers to women and nonbinary people who identify as both bisexual/biromantic and lesbian. But what exactly is a bi lesbian?
Definition
Refers to women whose enduring physical, romantic and emotional attractions are towards other women. People who identify as non-binary or agender may also use this term. See our Lesbian Hub for more information about lesbian experiences.
People who experience attraction to two or more genders are bisexual. This includes people who are attracted to men and women, as well as those who have tertiary attraction (such as a person who has sexual or romantic interest in one gender but is only attracted to the other through another form of attraction, such as a person who has a split personality).
In the LGBTQIA+ community, ‘bisexual’ is used alongside other identities such as pansexual, queer and fluid to describe the range of different orientations and identities. Some people feel more comfortable with these terms than others, and some don’t want to be defined by a label at all.
Some people who are bisexual can feel excluded from LGBTIQA+ communities because of a lack of acceptance or understanding of their orientation. This can be particularly difficult when they are in long-term relationships, as skepticism about their orientation from heterosexual people can make it hard to ‘come out’. It can also be challenging for them to explain their attraction to women to family and friends who don’t understand or accept it.
Attractions
A bi lesbian is a woman who is attracted to women and men. This sexual orientation is very common and it is usually set early on in life. However, it isn’t uncommon for a person’s attraction to change throughout their life. This is known as fluidity.
Many people, including sex researchers and scientists, believe that sexual orientation is like a scale with entirely gay on one end and completely straight on the other. There are also people who don’t fit on either end, but somewhere in the middle. Some people, such as those who identify as biromantic, have romantic but not sexual attraction to more than one gender. Other people, such as those who identify as autosexual, have a sexual attraction to themselves.
In addition, some people are asexual and don’t experience any sexual feelings, while others have sex-favorable feelings but aren’t interested in having a sexual relationship. There are also some who have a libido-satisfying connection to sex that they can satisfy by masturbating or self-stimulation.
The LGBTQIA Resource Center states that sexual, romantic, and gender identities are personal and can be different for everyone. Some people may have to experiment with their relationships, feelings, and sexual behavior before they can figure out which label is best for them. A person who is unsure of their sexual orientation can always seek out support.
Relationships
A bi lesbian will likely have a variety of relationships in her life. She may choose to date a woman or a man, and she might even decide to go monogamous with one of them. She will probably also have sex with people of both genders as well. While she might prefer to be in a relationship with a woman, this is not a requirement for her sexual orientation.
If you are dating a bisexual woman, try to avoid making assumptions about her sexual orientation. It is unfair to assume that all bisexuals are greedy and want to have both women and men. Similarly, it is unfair to assume that if she ends up marrying a woman, she is no longer bisexual. Historically, the term “lesbian” referred to anyone AFAB who was attracted to other women and was not attracted to men. Today, the term lesbian is used to refer to cis and trans women or nonbinary people who are attracted to other women.
Many straight women get aroused by p*rn that features two women, but this doesn’t mean they are bisexual or that they only like unattainable men. It is also a mistake to assume that a bisexual woman will automatically be interested in a threesome with women and men. Many bisexuals are monogamous with both men and women.
Misconceptions
There are a lot of misconceptions out there about bisexual people. Some of these stereotypes are harmful, and can make it harder for bi people to feel accepted by society. These misconceptions range from the idea that bisexuality is just a phase to the idea that bisexual people are more likely to cheat on their partners. The truth is, that most bi people don’t cheat on their partners and the idea that they are more likely to do so is a myth stemming from jealousy and ignorance.
It’s also important to remember that bisexuality isn’t a new phenomenon. There have been many multi-gender attracted people throughout history, including Shakespeare, Casanova, Virginia Woolf and Mary Wollstonecraft. There is also a growing movement among trans people to define themselves as bisexual and/or lesbian.
The term “lesbian” is used to refer to women who are attracted to other women in a romantic, erotic and/or emotional sense. Non-binary folks and trans men who identify as lesbian can also use this label to describe themselves. The term “gay” is used in some cultural settings to refer to men who are attracted to men in a romantic, erotic and/or sexual sense. This is not a universally accepted term, and the term “bisexual” should be used instead to refer to someone who is attracted to both men and women.
