A bottom lesbian is someone who likes to be penetrated and/or given oral sex during sex. They follow the lead of their partner during sex and get pleasure from being teased.
If you’ve ever scrolled through Grindr or queer sections of TikTok, you may have seen terms like top, bottom and switch used to describe sexual preferences. But what does it really mean?
Tops
Generally speaking, tops are people who prefer a more active role in sexual activity. This can mean wanting to penetrate, give oral sex or any number of other sexual acts. It can also simply mean being the person who initiates a kiss or a hug, says queer publication Autostraddle.
Similarly, bottoms are those who prefer to receive pleasure from their partners rather than initiate the action. They might like to be ravaged for someone else’s enjoyment, enjoy the thrill of being bossed around or just want a dildo inside their body. The terms bottom and top are often equated with submissive and dominant roles, especially in heteronormative relationships or in kink like BDSM. But according to Lucy Rowett, a clinical sexologist and the founder of sexual wellness brand Pleasy Play, it’s time to reconsider those stereotypes.
Some people choose to switch between being a top and bottom in different relationships, or even at the same time. This is known as living a versal lifestyle and is becoming increasingly popular on TikTok, where LGBTQ+ people are sharing their experiences of this dynamic. These people are sometimes called “switches” and they can be either male or female. They might even have a partner with the opposite sexual orientation. That way, they can experience both sexual points of views and understand multiple perspectives in their relationship.
Bottoms
If you’ve scrolled through Grindr or the queer section of TikTok lately, you may have seen “top,” “bottom,” or “verse” in a few bios. These terms are sexual preferences that describe the role people like to play in sex or intimacy. Tops prefer to be dominant in sex, while bottoms follow their lead. Alternatively, some people are switches, and enjoy switching between roles depending on the situation or person.
The idea of a “top” and a “bottom” can be a little misleading because it implies there’s a hierarchy between the genders in relationships and kink. However, many LGBTQ+ people identify as both tops and bottoms. Often, bottoms are considered more feminine, but it’s not true that all women are naturally more feminine than men. There are diesel dykes and high femmes who are hard bottoms, as well as soft and clingy types who are stud pillow princesses.
In fact, there are kinks that involve bottoming—such as oral sex and strap-ons. Regardless of what sexual preference someone identifies as, it’s important to communicate with their partners about what they want and need in their relationship or kink. This can help avoid any miscommunication and prevent sexual compatibility issues down the line. It also helps to know whether someone is a switch so you can avoid putting them in the wrong sexual position.
Switches
If you’ve spent time scrolling through Grindr or the queer sections of TikTok, you’re likely to have seen the terms “top,” “bottom” or “switch” in a person’s bio. These are sexual preferences that have become popular in the LGBTQ community, and they describe a person’s level of dominance or role in their relationships with women.
Tops like to be more dominant in sex, and bottoms enjoy receiving. However, there are people who don’t want to fall into either of these categories – and it’s perfectly okay. A switch is basically a term for people who enjoy both giving and receiving pleasure, according to Autostraddle. They may lean one way or the other (our video buddy considers herself a bottom-leaning switch), but they get pleasure from both positions and would probably do best with someone who prefers the same.
While the terms top, bottom and switch have been coined by gay men, many LGBTQ women and non-binary folks identify with them. Whether you’re a full-top, a bottom or a switch, it’s important to know what your sexual preferences are and communicate them with your partners so that you can have an enjoyable sex life together. And remember that no two tops, bottoms or switches look the same – sexual compatibility is a spectrum. The more you experiment with your own preferences and the more open you are to different experiences, the more fun sex can be.
Relationships
Whether you’re a lesbian, bisexual, or cisgender, relationships are different from one person to another. There is no one right way to be in love, and there are many ways of having sex with your partner. Some people prefer a specific power dynamic, and some are more dominant or submissive than others. Having an open mind and listening to your friends’ experiences is the best way to show them support. But don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t understand something they’re telling you.
“Top” and “bottom” are sexual identifiers that refer to a preference for a particular power dynamic or role during sex. They may also refer to a physical position or type of intercourse, such as penetration, oral sex, or missionary-style intercourse with the partner on their back. Other slang terms include vers and switch, which describe someone who can play both roles and is happy with either.
A bottom lesbian prefers to receive sexual pleasure from her partner, but is happy to top occasionally. She is more submissive and has a deeper connection with her partner. This is an essential part of a healthy relationship, especially for those who use kink and masturbation as a form of self-care. However, it’s important to remember that being a bottom doesn’t equate with a lack of confidence or masculine energy. There are diesel dykes, high femmes, and hard bottoms who still have the courage to defy gender stereotypes.
