If you’re attracted to women and don’t have sexual feelings for men, it could be a sign that you’re lesbian.
However, relationships within the queer community come in all different shapes and sizes. For example, some couples are femme and butch or masc and femme, while others are switches.
What is a lesbian top?
A top is a partner who enjoys being on the giving end of sex, whether that’s oral or digital. Tops tend to be more dominating in bed, but there is a wide range of preferences out there – some bottoms are happy to top occasionally and some bottoms only want to receive. One of our survey respondents described herself as a tomboy femme lesbian top who enjoys penetration from her partners, but who also loves being penetrated. Our survey also found that many queer women consider themselves to be’switches’, and like to switch between topping and bottoming with different partners or during the same sexual encounter.
The term’switch’ is also sometimes used by gay men to describe someone who goes back and forth between being a top and a bottom in different sexual situations. However, most lesbians don’t identify as switches. Instead, they prefer to define themselves by the role that they play in a given situation.
What is a lesbian bottom?
In lesbian dating, a bottom is someone who prefers to receive sexual pleasure rather than give it. In some cases, a person may be both a top and a bottom in the same relationship. This is known as being a switch. It’s also possible to have a preference one way or another and switch back and forth between the two during a single sexual encounter. Switches are often seen as having a bit more masculine energy or confidence and may be more dominant.
Our survey showed that people who specifically label themselves as tops or bottoms tend to be in the minority overall. Instead, most people learn their preferences gradually through experimenting with partners, pornography, and toys.
One tomboy femme lesbian top we spoke to said that she defined herself as a top because she enjoys being on the giving end of sex, whether it’s oral, digitally penetrative, or role-playing. This was the same response given by several other respondents as well. Others defined themselves as stone tops or touch me nots, meaning they do not like to be touched during sex. Still, many of those same respondents said they enjoyed penetration as well and some even preferred to play a more active role.
What is a lesbian switch?
If you’ve been on Grindr or browsed the queer sections of TikTok recently, chances are you’ve seen terms like “top,” “bottom” and “switch” used to describe sexual preferences within the LGBTQ community. Essentially, tops like to be dominant in sex, bottoms follow and switches like to switch between roles in a sexual dynamic with partners.
Some people who identify as switches also prefer a variety of different sexual experiences, including oral sex, humping and scissoring (rubbing genitals against each other). If you’re a switch, you might find it satisfying to be the one penetrating your partner during a sex session but would equally enjoy being the bottom at times.
There can sometimes be incredulity and skepticism about people who claim to be switches, just as there’s often a perception that bisexuals must choose either to be straight or gay. But the truth is that, just like any other sexual preference, being a switch is completely normal and can be highly fulfilling. It just means that you’re more than happy to both give and receive pleasure, if that feels good to you. And that’s something that can be enjoyed by women of all ages. It’s just a matter of finding the right match. The same is true for any other sexual preference or in-between label: a woman who prefers to be evenly top and bottom might do well with another who is the same, while someone who enjoys bottoming might do best with a partner who is a switch.
What is a lesbian hybrid?
A lesbian hybrid is someone who doesn’t fit neatly into one of the roles, but doesn’t want to be a bottom or a top either. They might experiment with different partners and porn, trying to find what they are aroused by most. Most people gradually learn where they fall on this spectrum, rather than putting themselves into one of the boxes right away.
A femme is a woman who enjoys being on the receiving end of sexual pleasure, usually oral or digital penetration. They might like to do the fucking, or they might be a more passive partner who enjoys being stroked or fondled. Some femmes are also interested in sexy toys or masturbation.
Femmes also often have long nails, and they may be painted a color or style that isn’t usually worn by women. They might also wear a dress or skirt that is more feminine than the clothes worn by other women.
A butch is a woman who enjoys being on their own or with other butches, and they might be interested in being on the giving end of sexual pleasure, or in being more of a passive partner. Butches can also enjoy sexy toys or masturbation. Some butches prefer to lick, while others like to be fondled or rubbed. They might also like to be a little more passive in bed, although this is not true for everyone.